So, today is Monday and I almost missed not having a blog every single day since I started! Hell, I didn't even post a "Demotivational Poster of the Day" today! Does that make me a bad blogger?!
Monday just might be the worst day ever created. Today at work, it was crazy busy. I barely had time to do anything, much less blog. After work, I was so drained that a did a lot of nothing. What happens when I do nothing? I think. What happens when I think? Bad things, usually.
You see, sometimes in life there are things that you want that you just can't have. I know this through experience and I've grown to deal with it in various ways. Currently, I have something that I want, but I don't have it completely. Is this a bad thing? No. Could it be better? Yes.
I'm not going to go into details quite yet. It's not the right time to go into details. All I'm saying is sometimes when you covet something that someone else has, it truly is a bad thing like it says in the Bible! WAIT! I know what you're thinking. "Is he really talking about the Bible?" Yes, I've read the Bible from cover to cover. I used to be religious and at one time studied religion as a minor in college. Religion intrigues me, but I'm not religious.
Sometimes I don't want to share. Does that make me a bad person? Does that mean that I am the spoiled brat that I was once told I was? I don't think someone that grew up as poor as myself can be considered spoiled. Is there such a thing as a spoiled poor person? If there is, I just might be that. I grew up an only child and whatever was mine... was just mine. I didn't have to share what was mine with anyone else. What little I had was mine and mine alone and I liked it like that dammit!
As I type this blog up, I begin to wonder what is worse. Is it worse to have a part of something rather than not having it at all? The part that I have is so great that it should make up for the part that I don't have. Right? It does most of the time. But when I'm exhausted after a hellish Monday, I think too much. People used to tell me all the time that I think too much and it used to get me into way too much trouble. I don't want to lose the little part that I have because I enjoy it and like it "probably too much". But when I think too much as I'm exhausted by myself after work, I get jealous.
I am the least jealous person that you will probably ever meet in your life. But tonight I actually felt a tad jealous. I shouldn't feel jealous. I have the best part of the thing that I like so much, but I want it all. Then I think of the possibility of what could happen. Maybe one day I'll own the whole sha-bang. Or is that just high hopes? Is this just some wild crazy dream that I've made up in my "Make-Believe Land" dreams?
Either way, I'm going to enjoy the part I have as much as possible and hope that one day I'll have the whole package.
I re-read this blog before posting it... and I confused myself... I guess that's what is going to occasionally happen in a Fnord rant. Well, goodnight folks and I'll talk to ya tomorrow!
Fnord Out
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