Demotivational Poster of the Day

Demotivational Poster of the Day

Friday, November 20, 2009

Day 3--The Spam Folder

I don't get many e-mails. I do get some, but not many. And then I look at my spam folder. Since midnight last night, I've gotten 28 e-mails in my Spam Folder. Why do I get these e-mails? Where do they come from? Let's look at the subjects shall we? I'm not going to open any of them because of fear of what they could do! Maybe they will only lead to more Spam E-mails?

At 12:15am, it seems I e-mailed myself to give myself 75% off of something. And I refer to myself as joblessjosh@gmail.com. If I was me, I'd just give it to me for free!

At 1:32am, Viagra wanted me to know that performance is now free to try.

At 1:57am, Viagra told me to try ED meds absolutely free! Last I knew ED stood for Emergency Department...

At 3:34am, Viagra said that I could get the real pills for free! Instead of the fake ones for money?

At 3:40am, "Handyman services" wanted to ask me if I had a "Thingamajig on the fritz". I don't need no handyman talking about my thingamajig!

At 3:44am, Viagra wanted me to know that Paul got his free sample. Were they attempting to make me jealous?

At 3:49am, Phillip Degroote told me that his coat was warm and nice. That's kinda creepy.

At 4:16am, Viagra wanted to let me know that they had a free online site.

At 4:21am, Viagra wanted me to be rock hard 24/7. That might cause problems, I don't think I want to do that.

At 4:26am, Viagra wanted to let me know that my happiness was now free. Did someone charge me for my happiness before? I never got a bill!

At 4:48am, Viagra wanted me not to underestimate the value. Currently, I've got not problem in that department. Doesn't that mean it has no value to me?

At 5:02am, Reality TV Casting wanted to let me know about something at a McDonalds. Is there a new McDonalds Reality TV Show? Crazy!

At 5:31am, Viagra wants to give me some free samples. They are really trying to push this shit on me!

At 6:05am, someone wants to give me 60% off a car warranty! It's too bad I have a used car that is a piece of shit. No warranty.

At 7:14am, Viagra told me that they can turn me 21 again! I'm only 29 dammit! Why would I want to be 21 again? Do you remember 21 y/o me? SCARY!

At 7:59am, Viagra wants to know if I'm tired of being flaccid. I didn't know I was flaccid. I think I could name names of people that know I'm not flaccid! ;)

At 8:21am, seems like I e-mailed myself again. And again, I call myself joblessjosh. Seems fishy.

At 8:22am, I can get my monthly supply of Viagra for free! Now they are trying to get me a month supply! They really want me to get some.

At 8:25am, Viagra teamed up with Cialis to offer me the cheapest sex drugs online. Sex drugs sound like fun. lol

At 8:30am, Viagra tells me that I can rectify my manhood. I didn't even know my manhood wasn't doing well! What the hell? Why didn't my manhood tell me this?

At 8:59am, Viagra and Cialis wants me to "treat her tonight to rock hard pounding". I can do that without drugs! ;)

At 9:24am, I tried to contact myself again. Is this an alternate universe me?!

At 9:45am, Viagra tells me I can be rock hard all the time. Again, why would I want to be rock hard all the time? I need some non-rock hard time!

At 9:47am, someone named Eli says something about "and he who's been with her before"... That's just weird and I don't know any Eli except for Manning!

At 9:50am, Viagra tells me they they are unbelieveable, but true. I believe it, I just don't need it!

Still at 9:50am, someone is trying to help me reduce my debt. How do they even know I'm in debt? Am I in debt?

At 11:33am, Viagra tells me that they aren't about gimmicks. What kind of gimmicks do they need? Take a pill, get hard. Easy peasy.

At 11:41am, Viagra tells me about them having a free online site again. Maybe I should check it out?

So, in conclusion, what are these e-mails trying to tell me? Do I actually need Viagra and I don't know it? I know they are trying to give it to me! I've got a good record as of now, no one's complained yet! ;)

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