What do you do when someone tells you that your on a fast-track to death? It seems I have to change a lot of things in order to get off that track, but I lack motivation.
I don't feel like I want/need to change, but if I don't things will be going more and more downhill until I kick the bucket.
I've always said that my health is going to never be an excuse for change. That's why I've smoked on and off for about 16 years now. I've quit smoking about a month or so ago. I didn't have a reason for it. Just felt like quitting. Cold turkey. I haven't even had an urge.
Now, I have to make major changes in my life in order to stay alive, but that doesn't seem like motivation enough. Without sounding like a sad or depressed sap, what purpose does my life have?
I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I'm just blah. And really, I don't have any effect on anyone where my death would mean anything to anyone. THAT as a fact is kinda sad, but it doesn't make me sad over him.
Hmm...
Guess I have a lot of thinking to do.
I can kind of relate to where I was at about two years ago...total country song type of stuff. Gf dumped me via text message, 20 minutes later the power went out in my area for a week, one of my dogs died, my car broke down, gma was diagnosed with cancer, Michigan had the worst season in history, all in a 3 month time frame. It was a crazy ass time, but it let me go on a 1.5 year "man-cation" and eventually everything worked itself out. My two-cents: Try working out. I started running and it was a great stress burner. Next thing I knew I was running marathons. Give it a shot, you'll feel better. Plus, chicks dig the bloggin'. Peace.
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