Demotivational Poster of the Day

Demotivational Poster of the Day

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Eve's Beach Fantasy (1997)

Straight-A student Eve (April Adams) lets down her hair -- and then some -- house-sitting at her uncle's posh beachside place while he jets off to France for a vacation. When a fashion photographer invites Eve to model for a shoot, she gets an erotic education … with help from her voyeuristic neighbors and thrill-loving friends. Director Henri Lumiere's walk on the wild side co-stars Brendan Claybourn, Samantha Phillips and Brittany Andrews.

This is like a porn film from the mid 80s, but without the porn. It's poorly written, poorly produced, poorly acted, and just generally dreadful. Granted, with a film like this, you'd hardly expect quality, but it's really, really bad. And unless you really like very, very fake breasts, it doesn't even have the nudity going for it. Plus, it's a pet peeve of mine when they have used up old strippers playing the part of teen/college age girls. Beverly Hills 90210 was bad enough. This is pathetic. Don't bother. There are far better skin flicks out there with far better production value and more attractive casts.

I know what you're thinking here. Why did he even watch this? Or better yet: why did he decide to critique this movie?! "Keep it to yourself, Fnord!" Truthfully, I was looking for the shortest movie on my Netflix Instant Queue to watch and this was it. I don't know how it came to be on my list, but it was there. It could be the fact that I'm a fan of other Troma films such as "Class of Nuke 'Em High" and "Toxic Avenger". This might be the worst Troma film I've ever seen and that's saying a lot!


1/5 Stars

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