Demotivational Poster of the Day

Demotivational Poster of the Day

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Aspen Bottle Holders

Booze stashes carved from dead trees
Trees provide many things, from oxygen, to books, to kindling for burning those books if they happen to feature blasphemous child magic. Now they can help you stash your hooch, thanks to Aspen Bottle Holders.A collection of ruggedly stylish wine racks, booze holders, and various drink-centric accessories all meticulously carved from large pieces of timber, Aspen's from a Coloradan who describes herself as a farmer/artist, or, more hilariously, a fartist. Made from solid pieces of sustainably sourced, naturally burled, waterproof-lacquered aspen/cedar, the meat of the collection are vertical standing wine racks holding anywhere from two to five bottles, with tweaked jobs including one outfitted with a stemware-hanging plank, and a wall-friendly three-bottler that arrives ready to hang, much as is dictated in Mr. Cooper's contract. The booze gets harder on sets equipped for specific liquor bottles, like a flat-sitting horizontal piece with a cavity for Crown Royal bookended by two tumbler-sized receptacles, and a standing joint that holds two 750ml square bottles (Jack, Jim, Jose, etc), and rocks space for four shot glasses, which can be used by friends, or used by you to alienate all of yours.
For booze that's in use there's a set of coasters lovingly carved with Jack's "No. 7" logo, but they'll make custom jobs to accent any rack you purchase, and even affix a holder with an engravable brass plaque, just as long as it doesn't feature that heathen Patronus charm.

Get a look at the racks at

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