Demotivational Poster of the Day

Demotivational Poster of the Day

Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Years SUCKS!

Yeah, that's right I said it!

It's almost 10pm on New Years Eve and what am I doing? Am I out celebrating with some friends? No. Am I with a special someone ready for that kiss at midnight? Nope. Am I at least with my family somewhere enjoying the night? Not at all.

So what could you be doing?

Thanks for asking! I'm sitting at home by myself blogging!

What?! Why are you doing that instead of out having a good time? Why aren't you drinking?

A'ha! I am drinking! I am drinking by myself at home! Doesn't that count for something? All day today my cell phone didn't vibrate... it didn't ring when I turned the ringer back on... it didn't make a peep. No one called or texted me to see what I was doing tonight. No one wanted to invite me to play some reindeer games...

So, when 2:30pm came around, I left work and made my way to the grocery store. There I bought some pizza rolls and beverages. I got home about 3:00pm. Yes, I live that close. Still I had heard nothing. My roommate was home getting ready for work. I thought to myself "that poor sap has to work on New Years!" and chuckled inside. I went to my room and decided to throw on a game of Madden 10. I played and when I was done I came back out. My cell phone still had not budged but for some reason, I kept checking it.

So, I said "fuck it" and made myself some pizza rolls and a drink. It was a rather large drink and had about a 50/50 alcohol ratio to whatever random non-alcohol drink I could find. This was sometime before 4:00pm. I went back to the room with my drink and my pizza rolls and played some more Madden 10 while drinking. I repeated this process over and over until it came around 7:00pm or so. I said "fuck it" again and just turned my phone off. It's been turned off for the past 3 hours or so. I figured why leave it on if no one bothers to call or text me. I don't want to get some random spam e-mail and my phone jingle... I'd jump to it to be sadly disappointed.

BTW: this is a very large cup I'm drinking out of and refilling every time it's empty... and I'm out of pizza rolls. :(

So, now not only am I blogging, but I'm drunk, too! WHOOPEE!

Now I have to figure out what this makes me to fall in such a predicament. There are three options:

1. I'm a loser.

2. People hate me.

3. No one gives a shit about me.

I'd like to think it's a nice 1/3 split between all three. I mean, I don't want to be a loser, I don't want people to hate me and I don't want people to not give a shit about me, but it is what it is. Am I really a loser that doesn't have any friends that would invite him out to New Years with them? Hmm...? Am I that much of an asshole that people hate me enough to just ignore me and try to forget me as much as possible? I did try out and was inches away from getting on the new Reality TV Show: America's Biggest Asshole before they stopped it's production. Does no one out there really care about me that they don't even care to see if or what I'm doing for the New Years celebration?

I'm really starting to feel pretty shitty... along with being drunk... right about now. I might turn my phone on in an hour or so just so I can send sarcastic asshole responses to any random text messages I get wishing me a "Happy New Year". If everything tends to go the way it's going right now, I probably won't get any, anyway. Sweet.

I've thought of some interesting New Year's Resolutions for this year. Should be fun. It'll probably just drive people farther away from me... running screaming into the forest or something...

Anyway, I'm Fnord and I'm drunk at home by myself on New Years Eve. I could probably say that I hope you have had a better NYE, but I'd be lying.

And to that girl that caught my heart and doesn't know quite what to do with it... I just don't know what to say. :(

I'm gonna go drink some more now and probably go have a cigarette. I'm kinda warm. Do you think it would be a bad idea to go outside with just sweat pants and a t-shirt? I'm gonna try it! Oh shit... I just remember I'm out of pizza rolls again... now it's just the alcohol! WOOHOO!

FNORD

2 comments:

  1. New Years is so overatted and always a let down. Be thankful that like me you are alone where you can do what you want and cry in your beer. Remember...push the rage down...tight little ball...release on enemies and strangers...go to water tower with rifle...but don't do what I did. Only one bullet but I was still mad after I shot it off. No water, no sun hat, no sandwiches...poor planning. Lets remember this is where the year started for both of us and make 2010 our bitch.

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  2. Drinking by yourself + blogging + pizza rolls = win. Don't let anyone ever tell you anything different.

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