Cross, Arnett finally funny again. Hopefully it's not a sign of the apocalypseThe Discordic Adventures of Fnord is just how it sounds. I’m a fan of the world of randomness. This blog of mine will be totally random. As my Netflix Queue has 500 movies in it you should expect many movie reviews, TV show reviews and recaps along with my insane ramblings. Sit back, grab some jelly beans and enjoy the show!
Demotivational Poster of the Day
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Arrested Re-Development?
Cross, Arnett finally funny again. Hopefully it's not a sign of the apocalypseWednesday, September 29, 2010
TMNT pal vs. Teen Vampire Gal
Elias Koteas trades in his hockey mask for a gun and a solid pension.In Let Me In, a moody tale about a 12 year-old vampire girl, you’ll see familiar faces. The kiddie-vamp in question? Throw on a purple wig and it’s Hit Girl, Chloe Moretz. Her tormented boy-toy? Kodi Smit-McPhee just got done escaping apocalyptic cannibals – and Robert Duvall’s overacting -- in The Road.
Then there’s Elias Koteas. Though he’s frequently in dark, boundary-pushing movies like Crash (the sex-and-car-crashes one, not the “racism is bad” one) and The Killer Inside Me, you’ll most likely recognize him as Casey Jones, the second-most famous hockey-mask-wearing vigilante in cinema (with deference to Mr. Voorhees), who fought alongside the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Let Me In is based on the Swedish novel and film Let the Right One In. Koteas plays “The Policeman,” and gives a performance with an unlikely inspiration. “Abraham Lincoln, and the fact of malice toward none, and compassion. You can use anything as long as it grounds you.”
Let Me In opens Oct. 1, 2010.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Four Christmases (2008)
Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon teams up with Vince Vaughn for this romantic comedy that casts them as a dating couple who are forced to spend their first Christmas together visiting each of their four divorced parents -- in a single day. Seth Gordon directs an all-star cast that includes Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Mary Steenburgen, Dwight Yoakam, Carol Kane, Jon Favreau and Tim McGraw.Crazy Heart (2009)
When reporter Jean Craddock (Oscar nominee Maggie Gyllenhaal) interviews Bad Blake (Oscar winner Jeff Bridges) -- an alcoholic, seen-better-days country music legend -- they connect, and the hard-living crooner sees a possible saving grace in a life with Jean and her young son. But can he leave behind an existence playing in the shadow of Tommy (Colin Farrell), the upstart kid he once mentored? Robert Duvall produces and co-stars.4/5 Stars
As Not Seen on TV
See the controversial Family Guy episode Fox won’t put on television… but doesn’t mind selling to you on DVD!There are some subjects so serious that you just don’t joke about them: cancer, genocide, the coming robot wars. But not abortion. Nope, abortion can be hilarious!
For proof, pick up tomorrow’s DVD release of an abortion-themed Family Guy episode that was so controversial, Fox refused to air it on television. In the ep titled “Partial Terms of Endearment”—Nothing like mixing your abortion jokes with your Shirley MacLaine references!— Lois agrees to act as a surrogate mother for an infertile couple, only to have the couple die in a car crash, forcing the Griffin clan to ponder whether or not to keep the baby.
Because of the content, Fox decided advertisers were skittish about the episode, so they shoved it in a brown bag and handed it off to their home video department. But while "Partial Terms of Endearment" does have the standard Family Guy absurdities—Lois is impregnated by natives wielding blow dart guns, Peter initially tries to stop the pregnancy with an ACME Miscarriage Kit—it somehow manages to discuss the subject respectfully enough to win positive reviews in the UK, where the Brits were ballsy enough to air the episode in June.
As a bonus feature, The Family Guy: Partial Terms of Endearment DVD also includes The Seth and Alex Almost Live Comedy Show. That was a non-animated special featuring Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane and Lois-voicer Alex Borstein singing and performing comedy bits. Admittedly, that special actually has aired on TV, but—judging by the number of people who actually remember it—it might as well not have.
Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer (2007)
After witnessing his family's violent murder, Jack Brooks (Trevor Matthews) develops an uncontrollable anger problem, but the night classes his girlfriend (Rachel Skarsten) suggests to cure Jack's "issues" end up making them worse when his professor (Robert Englund) undergoes … changes. Suddenly, Jack is the only person on Earth who can bring an unspeakable evil to its knees -- but is he cut out for monster slaying and ready to face his demons?**/*****
SuicideGirls: The Italian Villa (2006)
Some of the sexiest SuicideGirls -- made famous on the Web site founded by modern pinup photographer Missy Suicide -- gather at a remote Tuscan villa to reveal more than just a few naughty secrets. Shot both inside and outside the house, which is appropriately painted in girlish pink, this scintillating collection of clips catches the ladies sunbathing, showering and talking candidly about their love of leather, tattoos and body piercings.****/*****
Devil (2010)
In this edgy thriller, Det. Bowden (Chris Messina) must not only save five people trapped in an elevator -- a mechanic (Logan Marshall-Green), a young woman (Bojana Novakovic), an old woman (Jenny O'Hara), a guard (Bokeem Woodbine) and a salesman (Geoffrey Arend) -- but he must act fast because the devil is among them. Drew Dowdle and John Erick Dowdle direct M. Night Shyamalan's story, which explores the notion that there are no coincidences.**/*****
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Book of the Dead
Read the newest Walking Dead story. Now with a million percent more words!Reading something other than a comic book is a dubious undertaking. First of all, there are no pictures on the page. Second of all, THERE ARE NO PICTURES ON THE PAGE.
How much work can one man's imagination be expected to do?
Well, it's apparently time to put that question to the test because a new short story collection delivers all the thrills of horror comic books, but none of the helpful thought bubbles. The Living Dead 2 is an anthology featuring 44 tales of the not-quite-dead, including work from such zombie legends as Max Brooks (World War Z, The Zombie Survival Guide) and Robert Kirkman (The Walking Dead). Kirkman's contribution is actually the first time he's had a piece of prose published, and Walking Dead fans will be happy to know that this twisted love story takes place in the same world as his comic. Meanwhile, TheLiving Dead 2's other tales include everything from chilling investigations of a world gone undead to more fanciful yarns that mix zombies with pirates and—it was about time—zombies with dinosaurs.
The Living Dead 2 is actually the follow-up to a critically-praised 2008 anthology called—you guessed it—The Living Dead. Collectively the two books have about 1,000 pages filled with words about zombies. All those words should give your brain quite a workout. Which will make the zombies happy.
Well-toned brains taste better.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Unseen Horrors
Blind horror film director doesn't know what his film looks like. Yet.We are geeks. We are the underdogs, the soldiers of impossible causes. We got a Firefly movie made. How's about throwin' a few dimes this blind guy's way so's he can finish his fright flick?
Comic book writer turned horror auteur Joseph Monks is, in his words "100 percent, lights-out blind blind. And I’ve directed a feature film.” Clash Of The Titans. G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Transformers 2. Frankly, with all the damage done by sighted directors, what can it hurt to give an unsighted one a try?
Monks lost his sight in 2002 to diabetes. Undaunted, he directed every stage of production and shooting by working closely with his cinematographer. Rough cuts of the low-budget film, The Bunker, which is about a runaway kidnapped by your standard sadistic murderer, have screened at film festivals and horror conventions to shockingly positive reviews.Now Monks has taken to the online fundraising site Kickstarter to raise the $5,000 he needs to finish his project (right now, he's only got a little over a grand in the kitty). The production was hit by two hurricanes and the composer committed suicide mid-score. Considering those obstacles, having a blind director might be the film’s smallest complication. If only they had let him direct Jonah Hex!
Edges of Darkness (2008)
The undead roam Earth after a global apocalypse in this collection of three films, each following survivors' tales as they battle flesh-eating zombies, vicious vampires and crazed holy men bent on finishing God's judgment. While a girl captured by vampires discovers her own way to fight back, a lonely writer uses a macabre energy source to power his computer, and a survivalist protects a boy who manifests a whole new kind of evil.**/*****
The Crazies(Code Name: Trixie) (1973)
When a government plane laden with biological weapons crashes in a small Pennsylvania town in this George Romero film, its deadly cargo seeps into the water supply -- and anyone who drinks the water becomes stark, raving mad. David (Will McMillan), a firefighter, and his wife, Judy (Lane Carroll), are two of a very few left unscathed. To save themselves, they and a few others attempt to escape … but for some of them, it may be too late.Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever (2009)
It's back: The flesh-eating virus that decimated a cabin full of coeds is on the loose again. This time around, a high school prom is ground zero for the epidemic in this horror sequel directed by Ti West. Thanks to a local stream being contaminated during the first outbreak, the bottled water being distributed at the high school dance is causing the unwitting students to break out in ghastly blisters and sores.**/*****
Resident Evil: Afterlife 3D (2010)
In a world ravaged by a virus infection, turning its victims into the Undead, Alice (Jovovich), continues on her journey to find survivors and lead them to safety. Her deadly battle with the Umbrella Corporation reaches new heights, but Alice gets some unexpected help from an old friend. A new lead that promises a safe haven from the Undead takes them to Los Angeles, but when they arrive the city is overrun by thousands of Undead - and Alice and her comrades are about to step into a deadly trap.Saturday, September 11, 2010
Date Night (2010)
Who knew simple dinner reservations under a different name could turn one New Jersey couple's date night so terribly upside-down? Claire (Tina Fey) and Phil (Steve Carell) Foster leave their kids with the sitter (Leighton Meester) and head out for a night on the town -- as the Tripplehorns. Shawn Levy (Just Married, Night at the Museum) directs this action-comedy; Mark Wahlberg and James Franco co-star.I went to this movie with trepidation, even though it had two major stars, from "30 Rock" and "The Office". Too often, films like this fail to deliver relying on lame plot lines, overblown chaos, shoot outs, etc., etc. Well "Date Night" has all of these pitfalls, but with the prodigious talents of Fey and Carrel driving the comedy, the film delivers laugh out loud moments and good entertainment value. The two stars play a married couple, with two kids, and careers, who decide to break their routine and kick back with a trip to Manhattan for an upscale dining experience. The meal in Manhattan begins the mayhem that develops into mistaken identity for the married two. Carrel and Fey are pursued through Manhattan by thugs, (all perfectly cast and who definitely enhance the plot line). James Franco is especially delightful, bringing a laugh out loud moment with his plaintive, "Like I want to spend the rest of my life selling stolen wheelchairs!!!". William Fichtner, as the D.A. Frank Crenshaw is a comical scene stealer with his farcical facial expressions. In the final analysis it is Fey and Carell who make this film better than it would have been by their obvious chemistry and often what seems like improvisations. Fey's quick wit and Carell's dry wit work magic with the script. This film is a fun ride and I recommend it.
****/*****
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Dead Man Running (2009)
Ex-con Nick (Tamer Hassan) has 24 hours to pay ruthless loan shark Thigo (50 Cent) or else he's dead. To get his hands on as much cash as possible, Nick embarks on a wild adventure full of fights, shoot-outs, heists and other extreme ordeals. Alex De Rakoff directs and English footballers Ashley Cole and Rio Ferdinand executive produce this fast-paced action comedy that also stars Brenda Blethyn as Nick's mother.
Dead Man Running is your average run of the mill british gangster flim with the feel of a Guy Ritchie movie but I am glad I gave it a try. Quite enjoyable don't take it too seriously and you should be entertained. It's well paced, funny in some spots, isn't low budget and has an enjoyable soundtrack. Hassan & Dyer give good performances, Curtis (50 Cent) Jackson gives a passable performance at best, very much a miscast in my opinion and Brenda Blethyn's performance was the best, I really enjoyed her character, very funny.
A bit in the Guy Ritchie mode but not as interesting, intense, or violent. Hard times even fall on gangsters as ex-con Hassan has 24hrs. to produce $100K owed to loan shark 50 Cent or risk losing his mom. A bit zanny as he pursues different means to raise the cash. It will hold your attention.***/*****
3:10 to Yuma (2007)
Box office heavyweights Christian Bale and Russell Crowe pool their A-list talents for director James Mangold's suspense-filled Western, a remake of the 1957 classic starring Glenn Ford and Van Heflin. Rancher Dan Evans (Bale) agrees to transport the captured outlaw Ben Wade (Crowe) to the nearest town with a rail station, where they'll catch a ride to court in Yuma. But all the while, Wade's henchmen are plotting their next move.
Even if youre not particularly a fan of Westerns, you might like this one. It stars Russell Crowe as Ben Wade, the leader of a gang who steals from stagecoaches. Wade and his gang cross paths with soldier-turned-farmer Dan Evans (Christian Bale) when he steals Evans horse in order to escape the law. Evans is desperate to save his home but is behind on payments. When he is offered money to help transport Evans to jail, he agrees. Along the way the two banter back and forth and you soon realize that the men are actually quite similar. Despite their divergent lives, the two live by a code of honor. While the set up to the movie is a bit slow, it soon picks up and becomes action packed. Gun fights and chases help liven up the movie and are interspersed with quiet moments between the two main characters. Both men try to outsmart and out think each other, and in another life may have been great friends. Also in this film are Luke Wilson, Ben Foster and Alan Tudyk.
Somewhat bland, even for a Western. Bale is pretty good, though - nice to see him in a more vulnerable role and play that as well as the invincible. It was all the supporting cast that got me and all of the small "cameos" so to speak. ****/*****
Cop Out (2010)
Jimmy Monroe (Bruce Willis) and off-kilter Paul Hodges (Tracy Morgan) are two suspended cops trying to track down a stolen and very valuable 1950s baseball card. Along the way, they encounter a Mexican beauty and countless other characters and get entangled with the mob. Kevin Smith (Clerks) directs this comedic action flick co-starring Adam Brody, Jason Lee, Michelle Trachtenberg, Kevin Pollak and Seann William Scott.
"Cop Out" is an enjoyable, but easily forgetable buddy/cop movie. I liked the chemistry between Willis and Morgan as the detectives. There's a lot of funnny gags and you get the feeling they both really enjoyed making the movie. The down side is that there is no plot (something about a drug ring and a stolen baseball card) and there just seemed to be too many slow spots. Also, I like Kevin Smith movies, but he is just terrible at directing action sequences. This is one of the few movies I've seen recently where I'd actually like to see a sequel and hope they can improve on the original.
It was an okay movie that poked a lot of fun at other cop movies, even Bruce Willis movies. While I wanted to turn it off several times, the plot was just good enough to keep me going. In my opinion, Cop Out sits somewhere between a slap stick Jim Carrey and Die Hard genre. If you're looking for a funny cop movie with a small slice of stupid, over-the-top antics, give this movie a shot.***/*****
Houston, You Have a Problem
Soto Homer Caps Rousing Comeback 5-4 WinIf this season didn't make us so damn sad, we'd be pretty excited about yesterday's come-from-behind win. Rookie Casey Coleman spotted the Astros four runs in the second inning, but then he and the rest of the bullpen shut 'em down for the rest of the game. Meanwhile, Marlon Byrd got things going with a two-run homer in the third, and Jeff Baker tied it with a double in the fifth. Geovany Soto cranked a solo homer in the eighth to put the Cubs ahead, and that was that. Nice.
Machete (2010)
Hired to assassinate a politician, vigilante and ex-Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) nearly dies when a sniper shoots him during the job. Out for revenge, he's joined by a reluctant old buddy (Cheech Marin) who's become a pacifist priest. Written and co-directed by Robert Rodriguez, this homage to exploitation films based on his fake trailer in Grindhouse co-stars Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and Steven Seagal.
There are a lot of firsts in this movie. It's the first wide-release to dive deep into Mexican border politics. It's the first time a man standing up has been crushed by a car on film. It has a trick suspension that launches the front end high enough to slap a man down. It's the first movie with Lindsy Lohan naked in it. She is naked for practically all her time on screen. She looks good, but well-worn. It's hard to believe that she is five years younger than Alba. Sad to write that Jessica's performance was weak. She has so little gravitas that she isn't at all credible as an ICE agent. It was a lot of fun to see DeNiro using something other than his Goodfellas voice. The story, as convoluted as it was, makes a lot of sense. There is also art imitating life: days ago La Barbie was arrested in Mexico--a US born Mexican drug lord. That is exactly what Segal's part is. As purposefully cheesey as the movie is at times, it ridicules the amazing hypocrasy (of all sides) of the Texas/Mexico border with great effectiveness. The point is that this things succeeds on all levels. You want mindless action? You want sex? You want political relevance? The only thing it doesn't do is take itself too seriously.
This movie is everything that the Grindhouse movies should have been. Funny, violent, bloody, gory, silly at times, never very serious, and very entertaining Danny Trejo plays Machete with a gusto and fervor that many more "serious" actors should take note of-- he was great. Cheech Marin was his usual hilarious self as the priest who takes up arms with Machete. I highly recommend this movie to any fan of exploitation movies!****/*****
