Demotivational Poster of the Day

Demotivational Poster of the Day

Monday, June 21, 2010

Jonah Hex (2010)

Enlisted by a Union soldier (Will Arnett), scarred bounty hunter Jonah Hex (Josh Brolin) scours the Wild West in pursuit of Turnbull (John Malkovich), a crazed voodoo master with a scheme to assemble a devastating weapon that will destroy the government and lift the Confederacy. Based on the cult DC Comics hero, this action Western co-stars Michael Shannon as strange circus impresario Doc Cross Williams and Megan Fox as beautiful gunslinger Lilah.
As a Western Jonah Hex is horrible. As a comic book film it is okay. It is filled with the usual PG-13 thrills i.e. large explosions, no blood and stock characters. Surprisingly the prelude, done as a moving comic in the film, would have been better filmed & fleshed out to keep it closer to a real Western. Much of the rest of the film needed to be animated, especially the acting. Josh Brolin plays a mumbling, pseudo-supernatural Jonah Hex. Although Brolin assumes the look, he cant capture Hexs snarl. John Malkovichs Turnbull is barely a one dimensional character given no reason for his desires. Megan Fox continues to prove that she cant act her way out of a paper bag. The film moves quickly but without purpose. Watching it I was reminded of the Clint Eastwood Westerns. Jonah Hex was DCs man with no name. Here is a man with no movie.

Remember how people always seem to make jokes that they lose interest in a movie if something isnt blown up in the first five minutes of whatever theyre watching? Well, if thats true, those people wont have any problems with the opening of Jonah Hex. There are two huge explosions, a shootout, and a robbery in the first fifteen minutes of the film. Not to mention the fact that the film is beyond loud. With all of the explosions, fires, shootouts, fistfights, and yelling going on in the film, there isnt really a single moment in the films entire duration where the floor isnt rumbling or your chair isnt shaking from the intense action taking place on screen. Jonah Hex is incredibly flawed and the film seems to try and make a point to showoff its weak points more than anything, but its short enough that it doesnt seem like torture and tries to be as explosively entertaining as it can during that runtime. If Desperado and Van Helsing could somehow meet, spend a romantic evening together, and mate that resulted in offspring in the form of film, Jonah Hex would be their love child.


3/5 Stars


  1. The exploding comment reminds me of a thing I read, where big-budget action movies are required to have some intense action scene on page 60 of the script, because this represents the sixty minute mark in the movie, etc.


  2. Wait why knock Van Helsing...I liked the movie...Huh...what was that...I heard and explosion or was that a squirrel?...ADD does have it problems...

    Dan Murray.